Summary
Jojo’s Bizarre Adventureis so jam-packed with colorful characters that a vampiric serial killer bursting out of the body of a dead horse is one of the more boring ones. From valiant heroes to diabolical villains, there are plenty of figures to catch people’s fancy. Some even became fan favorites, be they “JoBros” like Kakyoin and Okuyasu, or villains like Yoshikage Kira.
Still, not every character in the series hit the mark. Even diehard fans will likely remember Pocoloco, the inexplicably lucky horse rider inPart 7: Steel Ball Run, rather than Poco the generic village kid inPart 1: Phantom Blood. Others caught fans’ ire for being annoying, unhelpful, ugly both inside and out, and generally quite hateable.
10Narciso Anasui
With Friends Like This, Who Needs Enemies?
The most interesting thing aboutNarciso Anasuiis the urban legend that, since Araki planned on making Part 6’s Jojo gang all-female (bar Weather Report), Anasui was meant to be a girl too, as shown by his more feminine-looking form in his debut. But neither that nor the Shojo Jojo team plot was true. He was just meant to bean androgynous man, who ended up looking more “andro” than “gynous” as time went on.
Anasui was designed to be a flawed figure with a conscience, though his flaws stand out over the latter. He regretted the murder that got him imprisoned at least. But he was also notoriously selfish (living up to the “Narciso” part of his name), helping Jolyne only so he could try and woo his way into her heart. While he had his moments, his shallow intentions and desperation made him the least impressive member of theStone Oceancrew.
9Dio Brando
A Classic Villain Or A Two-Dimensional Archetype?
PuttingDio Brandohere might seem controversial in one sense, or fitting in another, as he’s committed nearly every heinous crime in the book, from animal cruelty to mass murder. He knew he was evil and embraced it wholeheartedly, as after he used the Stone Mask to turn himself into a vampire, he rejected all notions of humanity to become something higher. Or so he saw it anyway.
However, despite being the main villain for most of the series, many fans found him to be a rather shallow villain next to Yoshikage Kira’s psychodrama or Funny Valentine’s obsession. Next to them, he comes off as someone who’s a top hat and a twirly mustache away from tying someone to the railroad tracks. Yet he does it with such gusto that he’s at least entertainingly evil.
8Vanilla Ice
More Like Dry Ice
There are plenty ofJojocharacters that have done bad things, but are ultimately rather dull in the long scheme of things. As scummy as the things Tamami Kobayashi and Toshikazu Hazamada did were, they’re more likely to make people Google their names to refresh their memory than get an instant reaction. Unlike, say,Vanilla Ice.
Personality-wise, he tends to lose out to other characters as he’s basically like Part 2’s Wammu without the sense of fair play. He’s powerful and devoted to Dio. That’s about it. But he did have a good fight with Polnareff, where he managed to take out two other Crusaders. Granted, it did involve kicking a tiny dog to death, which also adds to the hate he gets, but it’s more than most otherJojovillains get.
7Shigechi
The Jar Jar Binks Of Part 4
Jojo’s main villains run the gamut from prophecy-obsessed presidents to megalomaniacal super-vampires, yet they rarely garner as much hatred as one 9-year-old kid from Morioh.Shigekiyo “Shigechi” Yangusniffled his way into Part 4, helped and then betrayed his JoBros in a scheme involving lottery tickets, then he got blown up by Kira when he picked up the wrong sandwich bag.
Granted, he was somehow dumber than Okuyasu, and as greedy as he was ugly and gross. Even so, his fate was sealed by being in the wrong place at the wrong time and learning something he shouldn’t have. It was enough for some readers to sympathize with him as, for all his flaws,he didn’t deserve his end. Others would’ve preferred it if he hadn’t turned up at all.
6Steely Dan
Living Up To Every Expletive
The Dan of Steel,Steely Dan, is like a pro-wrestling heel, in that all his acts are meant to make fans want to see him get pummeled. As opposed to Shigechi, who made them want to skip a few chapters until he was out of the story. He does it well, too, as he fights dirty. His Stand, Lovers, is too small and weak to take on any of the Stardust Crusaders’ Stands head-on, so he finds a way to take combat out of the equation.
By sneaking Lovers into Joseph Joestar’s head, he essentially turned himself into a voodoo doll, as any harm done to him would be reflected onto Joseph. While Polnareff and Kakyoin tried to get Lovers out of Joseph’s head, it was up to Jotaro to act as Dan’s reluctant acquaintance, keeping the guy out of harm while Dan didall he could to humiliateand abuse the guy. If being a slimeball was a skill, it was one Dan mastered.
5Joshu Higashikata
As Stoogelike As His Haircut Suggests
When Part 8’s amnesiac protagonist Josuke wasn’t trying to find out who he was, he was living with the Higashikata family. Descendants of one of theSteel Ball Runracers, they’re like Araki’s take on the Addams Family, in that they’re also rather mysterious, spooky, and altogether ooky. The worst of the bunch was the second son in the family,Joshu Higashikata.
On the one hand, some fans enjoy him being the anti-JoBro, trying to one-up Josuke out of sheer jealousy over his childhood friend Yasuho, and often failing, becoming the butt of many jokes. On the other hand, he tried to assault Yasuho when he misread her intentions, then attacked his estranged mother when she made an impromptu family visit. Fans liked him better when he was being a punk than a creep.
4Forever
Some Animals Are Best Left In The Wild
For years, the creepy orangutan from Part 3 didn’t have a name. It was just an animal who happened to have a Stand that took the form of a giant ship. That, and it had an awkward fascination with naked women thanks to the magazines it had in its cage. Combine that with Anne, the Stardust Crusaders’ stowaway, taking a shower and…well, luckily, Jotaro shut the ape down before things got hairy.
Villains threatening women in showers have been a thing sincePsycho, but Araki deciding to have an orangutan go after a preteen to be his horror situation of the week is considered one of the series’ missteps. The other is eventually naming the apeForeverafter the Wu-Tang Clan albumWu-Tang Forever, as it offers a whole new set of equally awkward implications.
3J.Geil
Drawing The Ire Of Polnareff And Fans Alike
J.Geilis a textbook human monster: a murderer and predator with a peculiar deformity that Polnareff, the brother of one of his victims, kept an eye out for. Villains aren’t necessarily meant to be likable or appealing, unless they’re manipulative, silver-tongued users like Dio or J.Geil’s #2 guy, Hol Horse. But J.Geil is one of the few with no redeemable features.
He’s got no remorse for his actions and happily works with Dio to try and kill off the Crusaders, usually from a distance with his Hanged Man stand. There’s nothing particularly memorable about him beyond his crimes and his Stand. Even Capcom managed to mix him up with his nemesis Polnareff, when they used his name for theirtall-hairedair force guy inStreet Fighter 2instead. He’s just a nasty character through and through.
2Alessi
A Creep With A Capital C
One would think predators like Forever and J.Geil were as bad as characters could get inJojo, but there are other ways to prey on the weak that are just as despicable. EnterAlessi, a coward who can only feel like a big man when he’s attacking people smaller than him, who mainly happen to be children because he thinks they’re easy to bully and abuse for slights, real or imagined.
If he needs to bring grown-ups down to size, he’ll bring out his Stand, Sethan, to turn them into kids, then he’ll chase after them with an axe for extra kicks. Luckily, he got a just punishment when Polnareff managed to outsmart him as a child, while Jotaro still managed to beat him to a pulp as a kid. That was enough to cure them of their condition, but the two gave Alessi another beating when he came to, just for good measure.
1Cioccolata
Truly The Worst Of The Worst
There are so many stories aboutJojo’s behind-the-scenes plotting that the term “Araki Said” has become a meme in the fandom. One story that turned out to be true was that, when Giorno Giovanna finally gaveCioccolatathe mother of all beatdowns, his original 5-page Muda barrage was extended by 2 pages, giving readers thefirst and only 7-page Muda.
What did this one Passione member do to warrant such punishment? He was just a notorious sadist who gaslit his patients into committing suicide, and he often recorded their deaths on video for his enjoyment. Hateable as a villain and character, he could’ve done with a few more pages' worth of punches.
