InDate Everything, physically, my towels and breaker box are my type, but on an emotional level, I prefer my air-conditioning unit. Sure, the physical embodiment of my dishes gets my motor running too, but he’s got a lot of baggage, and I’m not sure if I’m ready to dig through it all to bring out his more poetic side. Unfortunately, my game console and I got off on the wrong foot, but here’s hoping that relationship can be rekindled at some point, when we’ve had time to cool off. For now, spending time with my teddy bear and vacuum cleaner is doing wonders for my mental health. WithoutDate Everything, the above would sound absolutely bonkers, and that means I’m happy to live in a world where this game exists. It’s just the right combo of meaningful and silly, and the industry could stand to take itself a bit less seriously.
Published by Team17,Date Everythingwas developed by Sassy Chap Games, a company founded by several well-known voice actors,including Ray Chase(Noctis,Final Fantasy 15), Robbie Daymond (Goro Akechi,Persona 5), and Max Mittelman (Red XIII,Final Fantasy 7 Remake). This explained the massive star-studded cast the game boasts, and the dedication each actor and actress had to their roles, no matter how over-the-top or absurd they may be. Did I expect to hearFinal Fantasy 16andClair Obscur: Expedition 33’s Ben Starr voice every single door in my home? No, but now every time I slam one in the real world, I’m tempted to apologize or, more likely, flirt. (Though, Dorian would rather just be friends, if that’s alright.) Did I expect Matt Mercer to be the voice of my D20? No, but I should have, in hindsight.
Going in blind, I expectedDate Everythingto be a somewhat brief dating sim with a few good jokes and some cameos from famous voice actors. Instead, I was met with the ability to date (or befriend, or hate) all 100 characters in a single playthrough, something that would take approximately 80 hours to achieve. Backstories and lore are also much deeper and more relatable than anticipated, with the developers even providing an option to opt out of more difficult subject matter. Every inch of this ludicrous game was clearly created with love, and while romance sims can be a polarizing genre in the gaming sphere, it’s now my life’s goal to make everyone in my friend group playDate Everything, if only to hear which appliance or piece of furniture they’d most want to smooch.
Date Everything is Certainly Ridiculous, But Deeper and More Elaborate Than Expected
As the title implies,Date Everything’s gameplayrevolves around making contact with the dozens of items in your home by utilizing a mysterious pair of glasses dubbed ‘Dateviators.’ However, ‘Date’ doesn’t necessarily mean what you’d think it does. It is an acronym for ‘Directly Acknowledging a Thing’s Existence,’ and once this has been done, players are invited to get to know these unique characters while also deciding whether to pursue a romantic relationship or a friendship. It’s also possible to stir hatred in your household goods, and given the amount of friendly, lewd, and rude dialogue often available, the fate of each relationship remains firmly in the player’s hands. These connections aren’t shallow, either, as each fully-voiced character has their own unique backstory, side quests, and collectibles to earn by selecting certain choices or achieving certain requirements. As teased ahead of the game’s launch,Date Everythingboasts over 70,000 voice lines and over 11,000 hand-drawn images, with uncovering all of these quickly becoming an addiction.
The game’s protagonist is hired for a remote position before being unceremoniously let go on day one. Suddenly, the Dateviators appear at the front door, allowing for some more quality time with each and every item found in the main character’s spacious home. Players can speak to five characters each day before the Dateviators need the night to recharge, making the prospect of awakening and befriending 100 characters feel a little less daunting. The sheer amount of content crammed into this unexpected gem is still shocking–after 20 hours, I had only found 87 of these wacky personalities, and I had only managed to start relationships with 20 of them. The gameplay is simple, as is expected from a dating sim, but that just makes it easier to hop in.
The ultimate goal is to ‘realize’ these characters–that is, to fully bring them to life. This is easier said than done, as players must first meet certain prerequisites before the option becomes available. Each time you establish a friendship, relationship, or situationship with a character, one of five stats will be boosted: Poise, Smarts, Empathy, Sass, or Charm. Each character needs these to reach certain thresholds before they can step into the real world, and this adds even more depth to an already lengthy title. Love and hate will also lead to different endings, and there are achievements for those who date all 100Date Everythingcharactersin one playthrough, and those who fill their entire home with abject hatred.
Date Everything’s Voice Cast is Beyond Stellar and Every Character Brings Something Wholly Unique to the Table
Merely finding all 100 characters is a major undertaking. While some are obvious (the piano and couch are hardly hidden), others are more nuanced, like Bobby, a sassy bobby pin that appears randomly around the house, or Dolly, a sexy dust bunny that eventually appears in the living room. My first fling was with Tyrell, the handsome embodiment of the plush towels in my bathroom, who has dreams of someday becoming a beach towel and seeing the world. Friendship came easily with Timothy, the timely catboy who appears when scanning a clock (and who is voiced by anime royalty Bryce Papenbrook). Rebel, my rubbed duck, however, had a bad attitude from the start, and going the hate route just felt like the easiest path to take.
Part of the excitement in finding a new character is seeing their design and hearing their voice lines, all of which have been delivered expertly. There are no flat performances here, regardless of how absurd the story being told may be. For instance, Johnny Splash, the embodiment of your shower, has dreams of becoming a singing superstar. This could have easily just been a generic performance, but instead, Robbie Daymond decided to do a full-on Elvis impression (that isn’t too shabby, if I’m being honest). The toilet was also funny enough to get some belly laughs out of me, with Max Mittlemman taking on the role of Jean Loo Pissoir, a French crapper (that’s ‘cool’ and ‘rapper’ combined). Puns are everywhere inDate Everything, but they’re welcome. There’s no stress to be found here, unlike some otherimmersive dating simsthat require players to make difficult choices or reload their saves endlessly to find a way to smooch their boo.
To get all achievements, Date Everything will take most players around 80 hours to complete.
Those having difficulty finding new dateables can use the handy ‘Roomers’ feature on their phone, which shares clues about hot singles in your abode waiting to be uncovered. The developers also made a shining effort tocreate an inclusive game, introducing characters of all different backgrounds and body types, and also including an option to turn off potentially offensive or upsetting storylines. Most incredible, perhaps, is that the slang used throughout the game doesn’t feel forced, and while each character has their own unique way of speaking, the many options given to the protagonist are things I could imagine myself saying in real life. Who knew a game about talking, sexy furnishings could also be so relatable?
Date Everythinghas hotties, himbos, and heart, along with more helpful advice than I’d expect from what I first thought was a gimmick or gag game. Sure, a few characters are out for one thing only, but the majority remind the protagonist of the importance of self-respect and being truly comfortable with a potential other half. I can think of some people in my personal life would would be better off with the physical embodiment of a table than with their current boyfriend. This is a feel-good game, through and through, and one that’s easy to pick up and put down whenever a pick-me-up is needed.
Certain hidden characters found throughout the game shed even more light on its development process, with the creators and wildly talented artists and writers themselves popping up if you know where to look. If this is the debut title from Sassy Chap Games, I’m sold on any releases down the line, especially if they contain the same incredible attention to detail. Date Everything is the very definition of creativity, and a game I’ll be turning to when my heart is heavy. As it turns out, smooching my coffee maker was the cure for depression. Who knew?
Date Everything!
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Date Everything brings an exciting new twist on the dating simulator genre. Your BFA in customer service unfortunately goes to waste as you lose your job to AI. But… a mysterious stranger sends a gift - magical glasses called ‘dateviators’ - which make your house come alive and dateable!Each dateable object will open up, have their own stories and potentially become your lovers, friends, or enemies. With an exhaustive Who’s Who of voice actors keeping you company on your journey!Features:• 100 Datable Characters• Fully Voice Acted• Branching Narratives• At Least 3 Endings Per Dateable Character• Puns Galore!
Date Everythingreleases June 25, 2025 for PC, PS5, Nintendo Switch, and Xbox Series X/S. Game Rant was provided a PC code for this review.
